Ever since the Old Navy ad surfaced a few weeks ago, we have all been dealt to a lot of commotion with respect to interracial relationships and our perceptions of same. All over, whether online and in print, we have seen a systematic resurrection of discussions regarding interracial couples, their families and their status in popular culture, from the dredges of the not-so-taboo-anymore topics. When you take into consideration, the fact that it was not much more than just fifty years ago that marriages between interracial couples became at all legal anywhere in America.
It becomes a lot less shocking to see that some people still habour mixed feelings and some bile over the idea. What this implies is, if you were born sometime around the 1990s, you probably have parents who grew up in a world where relationships across the races were not the norm. This generational gap is even more evident in the fact that many of us 90s kids do not remember a time when interracial relationships were a big deal. Some even entertain desires of having babies that look like Steph Curry because there is a lot less social stigma in being with someone with features not at all like yours.
Still, this is not to imply in anyway whatsoever, that you are totally free from the pressure points of social scrutiny and traces of contempt no matter how minutes, for choosing to be romantically involved with someone culturally and ethnically and racially different from you. Having a Black President did not change anything, whether we like it or not. In America, interracial relationships are still very much a forbidden concept. If you at all have any predilections towards having relationships across racial bars, whether they be white/black, Asian/Hispanic, here is what you very much need to be aware of before you start rushing to that interracialdatingcentral.com.
Ifyou have never been to one, you have no idea what you are in for at Mexican weddings. You probably don’t even know what it means for a Jewish guy to sit Shiva. Such differences can also be witnessed amongst couples of the same race, but with culturally distinct families like a cross between Catholics and Jews. Experiencing cultural diversity from afar can be a fun experience, but dealing with them on a much more personal level can be quite the hassle.
The motto for some people seems to be; “I can tell what you’re like, from what your partner looks like”. A lot of people like to play detective, sniffing out people’s beliefs, likes and attitudes, just from their choice in dating people from other races.
It doesn’t matter to these people whether they are dead wrong or not, as long as they know what they know. For instance, they know that an Asian woman dating a white man, is definitely submissive. They know that Hispanic men dating Black women are most definitely “hood”. And they know for certain, that Black men dating White women are pretentious sons-of-bitches who feel they are too good for black women, and nothing you say can change that fact.
More often than not, these people will profess to be non-racists, but they will stare daggers at you when you walk into that diner. And they will question you like some overzealous Attorney and make you feel like the defendant in a high profile case. The only way to ease of the stress from such people is to know them for what they are; Ignoramuses. Sorry, if they’re family members.
Brace Up Your Sensitivity, Because You Will Encounter Racism
We all want that world where people do not get to be judged for the amount of melanin present in their skins, and where especially, they do not face scrutiny for dating people paler or darker than themselves. Tragically, that world is still far off in time, and not this one.
People will throw racist comments the way of you or your partner or you both. Sometimes this racism might not be directed at you, but to others of your partner’s race. In such situations, you will have to deal with a wide range of emotions, from anger, to fear, to despair and disappointment, whether you are used to such actions or not. But have it at the back of your mind that if you remain firm in your love and commitment to your partner, that storm too shall pass.
Yes, You Also Signed Up For The Dual Role If Student And Educator
So much is usually said of how much of a learning experience having an interracial relationship can be. You get in close contact with the customs and nuances of people ethnically different from yourself.
However, it is also a fact that it will be your job to educate others around you. There are people who will be keenly interested in knowing what the experience feels like.
There are others who are not so much interested, as decrying it, but whom for long formed bonds of family and friendship, you would be hard pressed to ostracize.
It will be your duty educate people of both extremes and those in between, both for your sake and theirs, and ultimately for posterity. It will be your job to explain that though we are different, we are all of us, the same.